I found this great article today, and found it very helpful. No one ever tells us how long to hang on to things, so for a year and a half now I have kept EVERYTHING. This little jem is going to help me clean out my box o junk this weekend. Hope you find it helpful as well.
I have often read articles about how to achieve goals. The wealth of information available on ways to make your dreams a reality is great. However, if you are like me, you have frequently (and frustratedly) asked, “But what if I don’t know what my dream IS?!”
This is the best article on the topic of finding purpose that I have read in a while (maybe ever). 22 Secrets to Discovering Your Dream written by Leo from zen habits, but posted over at one of my favorites, Dumb Little Man.
I desire to be passionate about my work. I desire to use my talents to the best of my ability. But I am not quite sure what that looks like when it is fleshed out. I like music, I like entertainment, I like organizing events. I like reading, I like writing (but only if my opinion is involved). I LOVE school, I LOVE being self scheduled. I enjoy helping people, and I enjoy helping people to realize their own talents and abilities. I am not sure what all of that adds up to, but the tips Leo gives in that article are going to help me a lot in the coming months/years.
Tips #6 and #20 stood out to me. I am going to do them both tonight.
When have you been happiest? Think back throughout all the previous times of your life, from childhood through adolescence, school, different jobs, different areas, different hobbies. Think about the happiest times of your life, and what you were doing, who you were doing it with, and where you were doing it.
Set aside time each day. You will not go anywhere if you don’t devote time to your dream. Set aside an hour (or at least 30 minutes) each day for working towards your dream.
I think that one of the last classes you take in college should be about how to deal with your parents during the upcoming transitional time in your life. Most of the recent graduates I know were fortunate enough, like myself, to have families that have provided for them throughout college. With the end of schooling also comes the end of funding, and suddenly, we 20-somethings are now on our own financially. In our family structure, this financial freedom should bring about a realization for parents that you are no longer a child.
I am a very hard headed person. I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. This has been a source of conflict between my father and I my entire life. And since he has held the purse strings, my decisions have usually been made based upon what could be taken away if I went against his will. Now, there is nothing to be taken away.
I have scoured the internet lately for resources on how to deal with parents as a young adult. Here is just a beginning list of my current questions: What value should be placed on their opinions? From what perspective should I view my parents’ ideas? Is it okay to ask for financial help? If I do ask for help, is it okay for them to then have a larger say in my decisions? Why are they so adamantly opposed to something that seems perfectly logical to me? Why do parents raise their children with the desire to be self sufficient and independent and then act appalled when the children decide to move across the country?
I am sure it is just as hard on our parents as it is on us. But when searching a myriad of terms on google relating to this topic, most resources that pop up are guides for parents dealing with children instead of the other way around.
I love my parents. I respect their opinion. I also believe that they raised me to be a logical, responsible woman. And if this logical, responsible woman makes a decision, why do my parents question it? Is it from a place of fear within them? Is it from a place of jealousy that I might get to have an adventure that they missed out on? Or is it a legitimate concern that they have because of their years of experience? I cannot tell.
I will keep looking for resources, and in the meantime, if you know of any that can help me sort through the questions above, let me know.
Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment. It’s easy enough to pray when you’re in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.
- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
I just finished this book. It was good, not my favorite, but really helped me to put my travelling plans into motion. I don’t agree with a lot of the spiritual conclusions that she comes to, however, I do agree that taking a spiritual journey is always a good thing.
Anyways, this was the only thing I underlined in the book. It is a great quote, and I have found it to be very true. So, I am insisting on my own happiness. I am going to save and go on a trip. I am going to study, do well on the GMAT, and get into grad school. And I am going to keep striving for the things I want.
Sorry for the long hiatus. But I am back, and I have a lot of things to tell you about. First and foremost, let me start with my discovery of a great travelling abroad option!
Now, I haven’t been on one of their trips yet, but the program comes highly recommended from close family friend and travel agent, Bill. And after spending months researching options, I think this is a good one for me for a handful of reasons.
1) I am going to be travelling alone. I don’t have any other friends that are able or willing to take a month to six weeks off work to gallivant around Europe with me. Most can’t afford it either. This company does group trips for 18-35 year olds. Yippee, instant friends.
2) I do not speak a foreign language. I took two years each of French and Spanish, but hardly remember them. It will be much easier to get around with a guide.
3)I am a woman. A young, hot woman, and this way I will be in a large group and safer.
4) This trip very affordable. I think it is going to cost me a total of about $4K to travel for 28 days in Europe. That cost includes lodging, some meals, and all travel. With some websites, just the tickets to get to the locations cost that much.
5)I am going to see 11 countries! Ten that I have never seen before. I am so pumped.
If you have been on one of their trips, let me know what you thought. I have read some mixed reviews, but from what I hear, there will probably be a handful of people that want to party, a handful of people that want to relax and see the sights, and handful of people that are freaks. I think I will fit into a different group every day of the week.
It is my goal in the next few months to save as much money as possible. I do not want to be hindered while abroad, I want to see everything there is to see. If I have to, I might be taking out a travel loan. More on that when the research is in.
Sorry for the lack of posts this week. Besides the holiday, I have been feeling rather unqualified to give advice. It is hard to try to help others when questions are swirling in my own mind.
But, I guess that is the point of this blog. How can I help you? I think by being honest about my journey, asking real questions, and sharing what I have learned.
This week, I am questioning all of my plans. I keep running into walls when it comes to spending time abroad. I am struggling financially to make ends meet, and all I want to do is take a long trip that I can’t afford. I have made countless to do lists this week, and barely crossed three lines off.
I think my advice for today, is give yourself a break. Everyone has bad weeks. Everyone falls off the wagon- it is impossible to live intentionally every moment of every day.
So this weekend, find some time to relax and enjoy yourself. I know I am planning on it.
I have been spinning my wheels lately trying to find a program that will help me get overseas, find a paying internship, and help me make some friends in the process. As much as I cherish alone time, it would not be fun for me travel abroad alone. I never had the chance during my undergrad education to take the leap and spend time learning about another culture and seeing another land.
I found this article today that addresses ways that a recent grad can find work across the pond. The author, Katie Krueger, states that “according to surveys conducted by the American Council on Education, 93 percent of students who wanted to study abroad as undergraduates never did.” I am one of those.
I will continue to search for programs that cater to graduates not necessarily looking for credit. I will keep you posted. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
I think everyone I know should read this article.
http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2007/06/19/the-new-graduates-guide-to-financial-freedom/
A good excerpt for today:
Recent graduates should establish a rainy day fund as soon as possible. Save $1,000 to start — you can add more later as your income and responsibilities increase. This money is for emergencies only. It is not for beer. It is not for shoes. It is not for a Playstation 3. It’s to be used when your car dies, or when you break your arm in a touch football game.
As I previously stated, I just moved my savings over to ING, but I also left $800 in another easily accessable account for emergencies. I am adding a couple hundred to that this month and then keeping it there for emergencies and emergencies only. I feel good that if my car breaks down or if I need to go to the hospital, I won’t immediately need to pick up the phone and ask dad.
You have to make goals to reach them.
I know, I know, it is completely common sense. However, if you are like me, most of the goals in my life thus far have been set by schools, administrators, advisers and deadlines. In college, time is filled with reaching goals like planning a social event for a sorority, holding a movie night for the dorm, doing research and writing a paper, and getting better grades AND the whole time you are working step by step towards a degree. All of these must be accomplished in a set time period, and if you do not accomplish them, you will let down more people than just yourself.
But now that I am a member of the real world, there is a temptation to lose goals. Sure, there are those long term life goals floating out there in space, like-get married, have kids, get a raise. However, I am talking about daily goals, small steps you can take each day towards a bigger goal. Now that I find myself floating in the abyss that is adulthood- I could feasibly get up every morning, go to work, come home, watch tv and go to sleep. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
But I don’t want to do that. I want to learn to really speak another language. I want to read as many books as possible. I want to be able to run lots of miles without stopping. I want to be more educated. I want to be more spiritual, I want to know God better. I want to find out my purpose (or Personal Legend a la The Alchemist) and wholeheartedly pursue it. I want to make a difference in the world utilizing my talents and abilities. And I most certainly do not want to sleep through my life.
You have to make goals to reach them.
Over at the Practicing Living blog, she is doing the 101 in 1001 program. It is a great way to get motivated and I am excited to see her progress. Click on the link to see her list and check back on her blog to chart her success.
I am going to spend some time tonight thinking about my goals and publish a list soon as well. You have to make goals to reach them.
Someone died this weekend. Actually, I didn’t know him. But he was the long-time boyfriend of one of my oldest and dearest friends. He was 21. She is devastated.
And all I can think about is how meaningless finances, jobs, blogging, weight loss, etc are if you don’t have love in your life. Not just romantic love, but deep, overwhelming love for other human beings. I wish I had great advice to give you about how to cultivate love in your life, but so often I am terrible at it. Here is what I have learned, even if most days I struggle to practice it.
I cannot speak to the amount of grief that my friend must be facing right now. But I can say that she is thankful that she loved him. Thankful for every minute that they spent together; thankful that she opened herself up and let him love her, even though it has now caused more pain than she thought imaginable. I have no idea what to do for her now. Other than try to love her better. And show her that she can get through this. I am sending her a book.
CS Lewis’s A Grief Observed changed how I look at the grieving process. It is a beautiful insight into a very terrible time in a person’s life. It begins:
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing…
I believe that sometimes all we need in life is for someone who has done it to turn around and look at us and say “it can be done.” In this book, one of the greatest intellectuals to come out of Oxford, a man who ran in the same circle with brilliant authors like JRR Tolkien, breaks down. He asks the questions looming in the darkest corners of his mind. And he comes out the other side. If you know anyone that is grieving and struggling to maintain the hope that life is good and love is worth it…pass this book along. I am sending it to her tomorrow.
